dinner now!

I have realised lately i am not too busy or lazy to cook. i am too hungry. when i come home I want to have a fabulous dinner but i am way to hungry to cook it.

So i am trying to face facts and realise that sometimes it's all about assembly. So in reaching acceptance, I am sharing my current operating procedures with you.

1. forget about the dressing. i hate bottled dressings they are either too greasy or too weird tasting. or odd textured. so for a simple side salad I just squeeze a bit of lemon,(or any kind of vinegar) add a splash of good olive and a bit of salt and pepper, and toss. This works for pretty much every vegetable.
   also: a salad does not need lettuce just cut up something and add some red onion.
2. frozen vegetables- i know duh. but here in n. California it's so easy to be snobby about fresh produce. and usually in the supermarket there are frozen vegetables that i am just not that interested in (corn) or they taste watery. as usual whole foods to the rescue. they have great frozen veggies i am actually into. their frozen spinach does not need to be drained for hours. or squeezed which is hard when it is burning hot. so in my experience. here is a list of faves:
• spinach - this is a total staple. - put it in anything . or add lemon and olive oil for an instant side dish. the whole foods is the best i will never go back.
  
• fava beans. a really fresh tasting protein. great in a quick minestrone.
  
• okra. good sauteed with curry.
• peas. i like the big ones. and you do not have to defrost.
  
• squash.
  
3. good knives. most assembly involves cutting things up. and good knives make that really pleasurable. i know it is a splurge but the shun Japanese chef's knives make me want to rush home to dice a pepper. they are narrower then European chef's knives making them better for cutting vegetables. plus keeping them sharp cuts down on accidents.
   
4. pavel's yogurt. any Greek style yogurt prob works. but i love this stuff because it tastes creamy not sharp even in the low fat version. and if you do not like yogurt this stuff may change your mind. it makes a great moistener for anything you want to make a little creamy. like pasta (a tablespoon, a sharp grated cheese and some defrosted spinach voila instant sauce) , or even stew. Just don't boil things with yogurt or it curdles.
5. de-couple cooking and dinnertime. this may seem counterintuitive. However bear with me. I tend to want to eat at 7:00. so this means that to make a a great stew for the next week i have ot start at say 5:00. well i am not home then. so for example tonight i came home had some soup and a quick salad. then did soem stuff around house. and now i am making a pepper and garbonzo bean stew and really being able to enjoy rather than just wanting it to be done so i can eat. tomorow I will have dinner waiting for me at home. so i am truly enjoying cooking.
   

mushrooms the way my mom used to make

We had people over a lot when we were growing up. In St. Petersburgh my parents were the first of their college friends to have their own apartment so our house was pretty much party central.

when we came to the US we did not have any family around and just a handful of friends. some how still every occasion was an excuse for treats and champagne (7-up for me). We celebrated every new year. Regular new year, Russian Orthodox new year (we didn't go to church we just ate) and Chinese new year. When my parents found out about Tet they threatened to celebrate it too.

For all the birthdays and special celebrations there were always some favorites. most of them I like but one stands out among the rest. It was the one dish my mother never substituted for some other dish she learned from her friends or the cookbooks we bought by the dozen from library sales.

This is the thing I am asked often asked specifically to bring. at a shower last weekend the guest of honor got upset because she only got a taste. On my every other new years parties, where i indulge all my russian food memories this is the first thing licked clean.

how do you cook it: Essentially this is mushroom duxelles. But this one is cooked in sourcream instead of butter. You cook the mushrooms in the sour cream for a long time. the liquid evaporates and the ingredients meld into an intense mushroom flavor. it's milder and creamier than a duxelles. It's insanely easy. you will notice I do not saute the onions first, they get too sweet this way.

ok i cooked it now what? :

• My mother serves this as one of a huge variety of side dishes typically on a russian celebration table. just at room temperature.
  
• She always makes more so she has leftovers to spread on bread.
  
• I tend to use them as a filling for blini at parties. My blini are more like crepes.
  
• as a topping for potato pancakes they would be sublime.
• just over some steamed potatoes.
  
• my favorite way to eat this is as a sauce for pasta. thin with a bit of milk.
  
• A friend of mine wants the recipe to stuff chicken breasts or fish
• I use them as a sauce for meatballs (add a little extra sourcream) over noodles or steamed potatoes

mushroom stuff

• chop 4 pounds of mushrooms finely chopped
  
• you can use a food processor for this. it doesn't have to be even. slices do not work as well as a fine chop.
  
• 1 pint of sour cream
• 1/2 finely diced onion
• 1 clove garlic
• 1/4 cup of chopped fresh dill
  
• splash of balsamic vinegar
  
• chives(optional)

1. saute garlic in large wide skillet in a bit of butter until soft.
2. dump in the mushrooms and onions
3. dump in sour cream, stir till melted.
   
4. cover, and cook for two hours over extremely low heat
5. let cool to room temperature and stir in dill
   

Scrambled Eggs with Smoked Trout and Cream Cheese

Sometimes you have a week where everything goes wrong. Electronics break, work is a distater area, the IRS makes a mistake, and interactions that seem simple become REALLY complicated. Some people rise to this sort of occasion. They take a deep breath, they sit down in front of the knot and they start unraveling. I, however, seem to do everything in my power to tighten the knot even further.

Friday night I set out to comfort myself in my classic way. This involves drinking all my friends good wine and boring them with the details, then going home and having a private dance party. Then of course this morning I woke up needing a different kind of comfort. For this particular comfort I like to have breakfast with my husband. His presence is soothing, he is funny and he keeps telling me how bad he feels for me. Since I am the only one who cooks I am the one who provided the breakfast.

This is my new favorite way to have scrambled eggs. Smoked trout is easy to get in most stores like whole foods. It keeps forever so it's handy to have around for snacks on cracker or bread with a dab of cream cheese. It is less unctous than smoked salmon which gets a strange oily texture and aggressively salty taste when it is cooked. When heated smoked trout doesn't change texture of flavor. It is intensely salty and has a nice flaky meaty texture, so it needs a foil. I find cream cheese to be perfect. It mellows out the salt and allows the trout flavor to come through. Scallions add a wonderful fresh taste and a touch of bite.

Scrambled Eggs with Smoked Trout and Cream Cheese
(serves 2 hungry hungover people)

• 4oz of trout(or half a package, less will do)
• 5 large eggs
• pat of butter
• 2 scallions, white and green parts chopped into a (1/16") dice
• 5 teaspoons creamcheese. (I like horizon brand) in 1/2 teaspoon chunks

1. pull apart the trout into small bits, and set aside
2. crack the eggs into a bowl, and whisk the eggs adding a pinch of salt and grinding of pepper.
3. melt the butter over low heat in a non-stick pan(10-12 inches is perfect)
4. pour the eggs into the pan. stir in the scallions- putting them in this early this softens then and makes them less aggressive.
5. scramble the eggs by stirrring them slowly in a pan.
   
6. when they are still runny but just set, stir in the trout. Adding it any earlier just makes the whole dish fishy. Keep scrambling until eggs are to your liking.
7. when just ready to serve, put small chunks of cream cheese into the pan and stir once, they should still be mounds of cream cheese interspersed with the eggs.
8. serve immediately with a grinding of fresh pepper.
   

Notes:

- The ingredients for these eggs is the perfect thing to have waiting for you for the weekend. What I love about this dish is that the prep is to a minimum, I am generally way too hungry to just launch into the browning and wilting of things before I put my eggs in.

- If your scrambled eggs never turn out read Sidney Corriher's invaluable "Cookwise". You will never have another rubbery morning. Her secrets are: low heat, and take off the stove before they are fully cooked, because they will continue cooking.

- The spoon-shaped silicone spatulas are perfect for this. In fact they are perfect for almost everything.

Craving: Shrimp crudo at Bar Crudo

Full disclosure: if i could i would eat all my food raw. let me clarify, I would eat all my protein raw. Raw food as a life-style concept is one thing but the tenderness and clarity of raw fish and red meat is yet another. I love how clean raw fish tastes. I love the butter-iness and it's slightly gelatinous texture. When fish is uncooked you can taste a hint of something flowery that seems to get lost when you add heat and time.

When we walked by Bar Crudo on Sutter street, i got really excited. It is a now celebrated seafood restaurant and the menu had a whole section just for raw fish. I quickly cajoled (ok, forced) my parents and husband into having dinner there that night.

Bar Crudo is tiny, it is in one of those cool old store fronts you see here in San Francisco. You walk in and the first thing you see is a gleaming zinc counter brimming with oysters, shrimp, crabs clams and chefs calmly shucking, cracking and assembling. This is common in most seafood restaurants but Bar Crudo is warmer feeling and more stylish that places like Swans or Liberty. First of the walls are a pale yellow color and the lighting is soft and diffuse. We came in from a San Francisco February frigid rainy night and we felt instantly warm. the people sitting around the raw bar were stylish and happy to be with one another. There are whimsical paintings of mermaids on the walls and there is a chandelier made of plastic strips shaped like jellyfish. This chandelier is so genius that you have to come just to hang out near it. We were led upstairs to one of the only 7 tables in a tiny alcove. We were sitting in front of the floor to ceiling windows happily watching the rain on the inky street while we were cosy.

so onto to the craving. we ordered the crudo sampler, a selection of their raw plates. he flavors were fun, the fish was ravishingly fresh. The dish that kept me up at night: raw shrimp crudo. Raw shrimp, raw shrimp. Where have you been hiding yourself? Why have you been so bland and chewy at sushi bars? Why did I not know how creamy, how sweet you could be?

The dish is a tangle of raw shrimp, topped with a pepper puree, slivers of radish and sieved hard-cooked egg. there is a mid and fresh gazpacho sauce but it is more a mild broth. the pepper puree is just a little bitter, just a little tart and very clean. The radish is a lovely watermelon radish,. it had the colors of a Thebault and was bracing. The gazpacho sauce is is fresh tasting, it tasted of spring.

Then the shrimp. It is not briny like oysters and not miner-ally like tuna. It does not taste the way the sea smells, it tastes the way a mountain lake looks. When you put it in your mouth, it's solidity gives way to a creaminess. It has a clean sweetness and floods your mouth with it's texture.

My husband and I went back a few days later, just the two of us. The dish I kept thinking about was placed in front of us. I put the shrimp in my mouth and there it was, perfect.